Who I Am?
by FabrevanSwifty13
Summary: I was born 16 years ago, yet i've never felt alive. It's as if i'm walking in the darkness and the more i try to escape the more i lost myself in the never ending Labyrinth. Can i finally be myself? Be happy? Have a normal life like everyone else?  AU!
1. Chapter 1

**Who Am I?**

**Based on Jacqueline Wilson's novel: Dustbin Baby **

**Sorry if there are some grammar and spelling errors…**

Chapter 1

Today is August 16th. My Birthday. You can sing happy birthday to me, but in my case happy and birthday are two words that don't belong together. Usually I'm very good at hiding my feelings, but it's even harder on my birthday because people are expecting me to be happy and full of joy and another crap like that. Of course I can't blame them, they don't know anything about me, about how I started my life abandoned by my own mother, how she left me in a cardboard box….

"Quinny! Breakfast's ready!" Mirriam calls. She is my current foster mother, though I've never called her 'mom'. It just doesn't suit her. She's more like an old strict but caring teacher, actually that's how I met her, back when I was at this boarding school…

"Quinn, what are you doing upstairs? You're going to be late for school!"

"Coming-coming.."

Mirriam has cooked me a wonderful breakfast, she places it like a master piece with flowers and all. And beside it, a present is waiting for me. I'm pretty sure it's a mobile phone. Every 16 years old have it, well except me but it's gonna change now.

"Is it what I think it is?" I say, pointing at the present.

"You have to open it!" She winks at me.

So I open it, and guess what I get? Not a mobile phone, not a lip gloss, but-let's hear the applause- it's a ticket for a boring drama show she's been telling me about. Why do I even need that? After all, it's my birthday, she should buy me something I like, not what she likes!

I'm so disappointed, I was sure she's giving me a mobile. I've been bragging about it to my friends, now how am I supposed to tell them? "Hey, girls! Guess what? I am not given a mobile phone instead I get a super cool ticket for a drama show!" How lame is that.

Mirriam isn't stupid, she knows I hate her present but can't figure out why.

"Is there something wrong? You don't like your present?"

"Ohh, Mirriam, of course I like it. It just I thought I was getting a mobile phone."

"You know how I feel about that useless technology, you don't need that. I mean you meet your friends everyday, what else do you girls need to talk about. "

"It's not useless for me! Do you know I'm the only 16 years old that still hasn't had mobile phone? People threat me differently and I'm tired being different!" I say as I'm storming out the house.

"You haven't even thanked me for the ticket."

"Thank you!"

It comes out even more rudely than I intended. I don't want to hurt her, but I'm sick of having to say please, thank you, and sorry all the time. So I leave, not even care to say goodbye.

**Okay, so that's chapter 1…**

**Sorry it's short! Because it's super late now...  
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**What do you think? Should I continue it? **

**Oh, BTW, for you who haven't read or too lazy to read Dustbin Baby, you can watch it on YouTube .com/watch?v=Bs2ZX7e2ZWU**


	2. Chapter 2

**Who I Am?**

Chapter 2

"Quinn! Happy birthday!" Santana and Brittany yell and come rushing to me as I enter the hallway.

They are the first nice normal friends I've ever had. They think I'm nice and normal too, and I'm trying my best to keep it like that. They don't have any idea of what I've done in the past. I'll die if they find out.

"Stop daydreaming, Birthday Girl! So do you finally get a mobile phone?" Santana ask, snapping me back to reality.

"Uhh, yeah of course!" I lie, there's no way I'm telling the truth.

"Awesome! Finally! Can we see it?" Brittany begs, "Please, please, pleaseee…"

"NOOO!" Brittany looks hurt, so I add," Because… Mirriam won't let me bring it to school. You know what she likes."

"Then we can come to your house after school, right? We wanna see your new mobile!" Santana says excitedly," Plus, you should definitely show us your baby pictures!"

"I bet you're very pretty," Brittany adds solemnly, "Unlike me, I have no hair back then, I think my mom must have put wig on my bald head…"

Santana and I just stare at her blankly. Brittany is very nice and sweet, but she couldn't help being a little bit stupid. Ok, maybe a lot but I still love being her friend, and Santana's too. Well, I consider myself as their friend. I don't know if they feel the same way about me.

Sometimes when they talk about their childhood, all I can do is just stand there and listen to what they're talking about. I can't share mine, because no one ever told me, no one cares anyway. I just pretend like I know who I am, I've got so good at pretending I hardly know I'm doing it. I'm not so sure anymore if there's any real me left.

Then the bell rings. Santana and Brittany make their way to the class but I just stand there.

"Q, what are you doing?" Santana looks worried, "Let's go!"

"Actually I've just remembered that I have a dental appointment today."

"Really? On your birthday? That's suck!"

"I know! Well, I better go. See you girls later!"

"Bye, Quinn! And happy birthday again!" They're waving good bye then walk to their class.

Of course I don't really have an appointment, I just want to be alone for a while. Our conversation about babies brings back my old memories. I remember when Mirriam showed me an article. I've read it but still can't accept the fact that my own mother would ever leave me, her baby, in a cardboard box at someone's front door.

It said on the article that I was found by the Evans, by their 2 years old boy to be exact. It was rainy that day and the boy heard me crying. He thought It was a kitten so he went to the front door and found me there. The Evans took care of me for about three days before the cops took me for care. I wonder why they took me away. Were the Evans wanted to get rid of me? They didn't seem like that on the picture, actually they seemed happy to have me there. But then again, maybe the photographer told them to pose that way, so the picture for the article would be great.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I think about that boy who saved my life. He's 18 now, does he know about me? Do his parents tell him? If so, does he care? I would love to meet them, so I can ask them a few questions about myself as a new born baby because clearly I don't remember anything. Sadly, I don't know where they live. The article didn't say anything about it. But what I do know is my first foster home. And that's where I'll go.

**Thank you for reading it! **

**Please tell me, is it good or not? Leave a review. It will make my day.**

**Have a happy day ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

Who I Am?

**I'm so** **sorry for the long update. I've been very busy with my final exams. **

**Anyway, here it is, chapter 3. It's longer than usual so i hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 3

Find the right road is harder then I thought! I ask about ten different people. I get sent right out of the town, then I'm told that's all wrong and gets sent back again. Finally, I decided to just take a taxi, I still have some money left. After a short ride, and a dirty look from the driver because I don't give him any tip, I finally here. It's the right road, the right house, but I don't feel right. I'm just about to leave when I hear a voice from behind.

"Who are you?" the person, who actually a girl, asks me, "I'm Lauren."

"Err, I'm.. I'm Quinn…" I feel nervous all of sudden, "Is Ms Pillsburystill live here?"

"Ooo, Emma? Yeah, she's here. Why? Were you once one of her babies?"

"Well, sort of…"

Before I know what's going on, she's already pulled me into the house.

"Emma! Emma! We've got a visitor!"

There she is, standing right in front of me, holding a baby. I've spent my first 3 years here, but I don't recognize her, neither does she I think.

"Well, hello, dear…" She smiles cheerfully, "Who are you then?"

"I'm… Quinn. Don't you remember me?" I feel like hitting myself, of course she doesn't remember me, as if she doesn't have anything more important to do.

"I wish I could, I'm sorry, but there's so many kids come and go I lost track" She must have seen my sad face, so she adds" Maybe if you tell me about yourself I will remember."

"I was the cardboard baby." I hate saying it, but I have no other choice. It sounds so sad. Totally pathetic.

Emma's face lights up, "Ahhh, yes, now I remember! I'm so happy to see you again."

I give her a little small and try hard not to roll my eyes. Just a few minutes ago she didn't recognize me and now she's happy to see me, obviously she's saying that just to make me happy.

"So Quinn, are you adopted?" Lauren asks me.

"I was…"

"WHAT? Don't tell me they dumped you too!" She seems very angry, "Don't worry, Sister! I know exactly how you feel, no one wants me either."

"Lauren…" Emma gives her a look, "You know it's not true! Someone will adopt you soon, I promise."

"Yea right! You said the same thing a year ago and the years before." Then she adds, "So what happen, Quinn? You can tell me."

I hate telling this story to anyone, it's definitely not a fairy tale,"Errr, I don't think we have enough time. I should go now."

Lauren looks disappointed, "No, Quinn, don't go just yet! You don't have to tell me, we can just go to my room and listen to some music or something."

"I'm sorry, but I really have to go. Bye Lauren, Emma!" I leave before they can say anything.

I am so stupid, why did I go here in the first place anyway. I don't need anyone. I'm strong and independent. Now, the problem is I don't know where to go. I can't go home, Mirriam must be still furious. Probably she doesn't want me anymore, well that's fine I don't want her either.

I keep on walking until I spot a park, then I sit on one of the benches there. The sunny and warm day is definitely the opposite of how I feel. Every where I look, I see kids with their parents, looking so happy and careless. I've never felt like that, not even when I was younger. I always live in fear.

After 3 years living with Emma, I was adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Fabray that's how I get my last name. They want to change my first name too. Lucy, after their first child who died because of a car accident. But I wouldn't answer, I wouldn't even look up. They told me this as I got older, laughing, but I could tell it still bugged them a bit. I know Lucy is not a terrible name, but I've been Quinn as long as I remember. I don't know who named me, but whoever asks for my name, I answer 'Quinn'.

So I called him Daddy, and her, Mommy. We played a happy family for the first few months. But none of us really was happy. Mommy and Daddy were still sad about their daughter, they wanted me to be like her. She did ballet, so they made me too. She liked oatmeal, so Mommy cooked it for me tough i hated it. They wouldn't let me did anything I like. I felt like a prisoner.

Then everything got worse. Daddy often didn't come home, and when he did he yelled at Mommy and punched her a couple time. I didn't saw it, I was sent to my room right away, but the sounds were clear enough. I wanted to comfort her, I wanted to make everything right, I wanted to be her little girl. But all she wanted was Daddy, and I couldn't see why, not after all the nasty things he did to her.

Then Daddy stopped coming back. Mommy waited all day, all night. But he never came back. One day, I found her sitting on the carpet in the living room. Tears ran down her cheeks. I was so scared, I sat next to her and put my arms around her.

For the next few weeks there were just Mommy and I. She tried her best to look after me. She often said that she was a useless mother. I wanted to argue but her eyes looked straight to mine and I could tell she wanted me to agree with her. So I just nodded.

It wasn't the worst tough… What happened next was, and I still can remember it perfectly although I wasn't much older than five.

**How is it? Good? Bad? **

**Please leave me reviews, i love hearing from you guys! I will post a new one when i get just 3 more reviews ^^  
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**Also if you have some** **suggestions just PM me.**

**Thanks for reading this!  
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**XOXO  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Who I Am?**

**Hey, guys! Thanks so much for the reviews and alerts! I've just came back from school and see your reviews. It really really makes me happy :D**

**So this is chapter 4, i have so much fun writing this one and as you can see it's longer.**

**Btw, as i was saying before this story is based on 'Dustbin Baby' but i put twist in it to make this more interesting and more dramas as well. **

**So, enjoy!  
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Chapter 4

I remember, that morning I woke up, screaming and shaking. I had a terrible nightmare and I wanted Mommy to comfort me. But she didn't come to my room, not even after I cried so hard until my throat hurt. So I went to her room, but she wasn't there. I began to panic, what if she had gone and left me alone. I searched every room in the house, until I found out the upstairs bathroom was locked. I began to calm down, I thought she had gone to the bathroom at night then fell asleep there. I twisted and turned the door knob. I knocked. I called.

"Mommy! Are you there? MOMMY!"

She didn't answer me. I tried to call her again from the back garden, the bathroom window was open at the top.

"Mommy! Mommy! Pleaseee, wake up!"

Mommy still didn't answer me, but Mrs. Hudson did. She was a widow who lived next door, I didn't really like her, or her son. They were forever comparing me with Lucy. It was bad enough for Mommy and Daddy to compare me with her, but having a nosy neighbor to do so was too much.

"Quinn? What are you doing here this early?" she called.

I was scared she would tell me off so I ran back to the house but I wasn't fast enough.

"Quinn! Don't run away, you silly kid! I'm talking to you."

She was standing on her garden behind the fences in a nightie. If only I wasn't so scared I probably would have laugh at that sight, but at that moment I was too busy sobbing and calling for Mommy.

"Don't cry, dear." Mrs. Hudson said nicely, which was a rare thing, "Where's your Mom?"

"In the bathroom." I said, then burst into tears again.

To my surprise, she made her gardener, Burt, to check on Mommy. He fetched a ladder, climbed to the top, and then peered through the window. I thought it wasn't such a good idea, Mommy would be terrified waking up and see Burt's big red face looking back at her. Turned out, Burt was the one who looked nearly fainted. Little beads of sweat trickled down his forehead.

"Burt, are you all right?" Mrs. Hudson asked "What happened?"

"Is it Mommy? Is she ok?" I whispered "I want my Mommy!"

Burt answered shakily "Well, she's not very well. You'd better come to Mrs. Hudson's house while I'm calling some people to see your mom."

He passed me over the fence to Mrs. Hudson and mumbled something to her. I could only hear a few words, such as 'it's a mess up there' and 'better call the police'. I still didn't know what happen, and why they need to call the police. She was just sleeping, or that's what I thought. I really didn't want to go with Mrs. Hudson but I didn't have any option. I had to do as I was told.

Mrs. Hudson took me into her kitchen and poured me a glass of milk. I didn't feel like drinking anything but I was trying to be polite so I sipped and sipped and sipped until I felt so full of milk. Mrs. Hudson's son looked after me when his mom went to talk with the police. Unlike usual, he was so nice to me, saying his mom would be back soon. But I didn't want _his_ mom, I wanted mine.

Mrs. Hudson came back with a police woman. She looked uneasy, probably thinking how to tell a five years old girl what had happened to her mom.

She put her arm around me and greeted me, "Hello, Quinn."

"I want my Mommy, where is she?"

The police woman was blinking a lot.

"I'm afraid you can't see her anymore, dear. Now come on, I will bring you to a kind lady's house, she will look after you." She said, taking my hand.

It felt so weird, like it was only a dream. I wanted Mommy to wake me up, but she was the one who's sleeping. That's what they said. I tried to explain that they need to shake her hard. But they just shook their heads and told me, she's going to stay asleep….

I feel someone's tapping my shoulder. And when I look up, I see a guy sitting next to me, offering a piece of tissue. I don't even realize I'm crying until now.

"Here" He said, "Are you ok? Why are you crying?"

I take the tissue and wipe away my tears.

"I'm fine, really." I lie, even a monkey could tell I'm not .

"Uhh, ok. Are you lost then? I can drive you home if you like."

I'm looking straight into his face. He's not bad, kinda cute actually, with green eyes, blond hair, and a big mouth, but he definitely has no brain. I know I'm small for my age, but do I look like a lost little girl? Really?

"No, I'm perfectly fine!" I convince him. "Now isn't it the right time for you to get_ lost_?"

He laughs, showing his perfect teeth, thinking I'm joking.

He's about to ask me another question when I quickly point at a wrapped box that sticking out from his pocket, "What's that?"

I really don't care what it is, but what a better way to avoid another question than to ask it myself. I'm a genius.

He takes the box out, it looks like a present, "This is a gift for a special girl, and today's her 16th birthday."

I feel jealous all of sudden, what a lucky girl. She has a cute guy who remembers her birthday, I bet her life is perfect, unlike mine. Though we share the same birthday, our life must be a total opposite.

"What are you doing here, then? Aren't you supposed to look for your birthday girl?" I try hard not to sound jealous.

"Well, yeah, I hope I can see her this year. I haven't seen her for 16 years."

He says she is 16, but he hasn't seen her for 16 years, so the girl must have been taken away. Is it a coincidence, or… I need to know more.

"What happened to her? How do you meet her?"

He smiles, a sad smile, "I didn't exactly meet her, more like I found her. I was only two when I heard the cry. At first I thought it was a kitten, she was in a cardboard box after all. I ran inside and called my Mom. She was nearly fainted when she saw her, but she took her to our home. I know it sounds stupid, but when I look at her eyes, well, I felt like I love her. The next 3 days were the happiest days on my life. I played with her tiny fingers, sang to her, but the police took her away. The last thing I heard about her is that she is adopted."

I've already known the story, but it feels weird for someone I only meet for 10 minutes to tell me this, my past life.

I gulp, "Then why are you buying gift for her if you haven't seen her after that?"

"Not just me, my parents also do that every year so when we finally find her, she can spend hours to open all those gifts." I can see sparkle in his eyes as he's saying that like meeting the girl is a dream comes true. "My Mom also bakes birthday cake for her, then we will blow the candles together and wish she's happy wherever she is, it's like a tradition."

"Wha..What's her name?" I ask trembling.

"I don't know whether she's still using this name or not, but we call her Quinn."

Quinn...My name..

I feel like crying now. Someone actually cares about me. This guy, who's currently sitting next to me, is the person who had saved my life. I want to scream that the girl he's looking for is me, I want to hug him and thank him for saving me, I want to tell him everything about how hard my life is and that I've been looking for his family all this time.

He must have seen the changes on my face, from curious to shock.

"What's wrong?" He asks me.

I open my mouth, ready to tell him everything, but instead what come out is…

"I.. I happen to know this girl really close, she had the same past."

Now it's his turn to look surprise, "What? Seriously? That's great! Can you tell her to meet me at….."

"I don't think you can. She's not ready to talk about her past, maybe someday…"

He looks disappointed but understands what I'm saying, "I.. Well, I see." He takes a piece of paper then scribbles some numbers, "Could you please give this to her then? It's my phone number, she can call me when she wants to."

I take the paper, then I say good bye to him, he asks for my name but I only smile at him. I probably would regret this for the rest of my life, but what I have said is true, I'm not ready yet, though it's killing me to say it. Maybe the best thing is to forget and pretend this never happened as what I usually do. So I wipe my tears away, and walk away from him, probably forever.

**Thanks for reading this! **

**Love it or hate it? Please give me 5 more reviews since this one is longer. ^^**

** I probably will post a new chapter tomorrow once i get the reviews since school nowadays aren't that important. Yup, i still have school. -_-  
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**Anyway**** i want to say, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FABREVANS! Who's with me? hahahaha...**

**XOXO**


	5. Chapter 5

**Who I Am?**

**Sorry for the long update, i have a little family problem and it really makes me upset. I've been crying on and off for this few days.**

**Maybe this is not my best chapter, but i tried so hard, it's extremely hard to write. **

**Anyway, enjoy!  
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Chapter 5

Tears keep running down my cheeks no matter how many time I try to wipe them away. I don't need anyone, I say it over and over again to myself. But my heart's screaming I do need him. I'm just scared he might leave me, like everyone else. So many people come to my life, but no one stays, no one cares.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe Mommy cared about me. Sometimes she did her best, helped me put Barbie in her party dress or decked me in jewellery. It's not entirely her fault, Daddy made her so depressed she decided to end her life. I need to meet her for the last time. I know where she is, buried at The Hollowstones Cemetery. It's a bit far, and I don't have enough money to afford taxi. So I decide to take a bus.

As the bus takes me there, thousand memories come back to me. The police woman was about to take me away when Daddy suddenly burst into the house. Someone must have told him.

He hugged me tight, "My poor little Quinn! Don't worry Daddy is here! I'll take care of you."

I could tell he's acting, the way he hugged and kissed me. He's just didn't want to get arrested for abandoning me. I would be much happier to go with the policewoman but Daddy insisted to keep me. So I was stuck with him.

He took me to his apartment, or was it hers? She was called Thessa, Daddy's new girlfriend. I hated her right away, if Thessa hadn't come to our life Daddy might have stayed with Mommy so she wouldn't have cut her wrists. I didn't see her of course but I heard them whispering. I imagined Mommy lying in the red water of her own blood. It seemed clear that it had to be their fault, Daddy and Thessa.

It was very awkward when I got back to school. I think they had been warned not to mention my mother. They played safe and didn't talk to me at all, not even my best friend Tina. We still had to sit next to each other at the classroom, but she stayed away from me at break time. Not long after that, she started going around with another girl, and I was all alone.

I cried a lot at night, even during the day I couldn't help it. I felt so lonely, it's true that Thessa looked after me when Daddy's at work but most of time we didn't speak. I think she finally had enough of me.

"I don't want to live here anymore!" She shouted. "I don't want to look after your creepy little kid, I wanna have fun. I'm out of here!"

So she went. Then there was only Daddy and I. He didn't know what to do with me when he's working. I begged Daddy to ask Tina's mom, seeing it as a good way of making Tina my friend again. But she turned me down, saying she didn't want the responsibility.

"Not even one well behaved little girl?" He said impatiently.

I tried hard to be well behaved around Daddy because he was very bad tempered. Inside my head I shouted all sort of stuff, I even made some imaginary friends –Channel, Martina, Savera, and Dicy. I pretended that they are my best friends and we play all day and dance all night. We didn't need mothers or fathers.

Daddy employed an old lady to look after me. She came to our house and settled herself down in front of the television as if it was her place. She smacked me hard on the back of my skinny legs. Daddy saw the bruise but said nothing. He was too busy with his new girlfriends, Sara or maybe Joanne? He changed his girlfriend like he changed his clothes. Sometimes Daddy brought them home, but I didn't bother to meet them. I just locked myself in my bedroom dancing with my girls.

But I couldn't dance forever, for once Channel, Martina, Savera, and Dicy failed to keep me company. I wanted my Mommy so badly, I started whispering her name. The whispers got louder and louder until I was screaming. Daddy came to my room and grasped my shoulder, demanded me to stop.

I couldn't stop because he was scaring me so. In the end, Daddy had to bring me to a doctor. He said I was suffering from a 'nervous reaction'. He also said that I need lots of love and reassurance.

I supposed Daddy tried, for a day or two. Most of time he let me mope. He even called me baby because I wetted my bed. Everyone said it wasn't my fault that I'm being nervy just like my Mommy.

But Daddy said, "She wasn't even her real mother."

He wasn't my real father either. And I'm glad, glad, glad there isn't a drop of his blood in my body. I bet Daddy was glad too, because when he finally had enough of me –only months after Mommy died- he could shove me straight back to the social workers. Into Care. Only it seemed that no one really cared for me….

"Miss.. Miss... I'm sorry, but I suppose we've reach your destination."

I feel someone is shaking me. For a minute I don't know where I am, it's already late. I look around and still don't recognize this place.

"Mmm.. I think this is not my destination." I reply.

The man, who seem like the driver looks confused, "I'm sorry but this is our last stop."

Oh My Gosh, I must have missed it, I'm so stupid. And now I need to get out and find a way to get back home. Not that I have home anymore, but still maybe I can sleep in Santana's house or maybe Brittany's, like a sleepover. So I get out the bus, and find myself in a strange road. I look after a taxi, I can borrow some money from my friends to pay the fares. But I can't see any of them around here, so I walk further which is very stupid.

I walk straight into a bunch of gangster, they are drinking and smoking. I walk away from them slowly, praying they can't see me. But one of them notices and begins to call me, and when I don't come to them, they run after me. I manage to hide behind some dustbins but I know they are still out there looking for me. I see a public telephone not far from where I hide, so I wait until I can't see or hear them and sprint to the telephone. But I can't call Mirriam, I doubt she will come and save me. I can't call my friends either, they will think I'm crazy running around at night by myself or even worse they will tell their parents who surely will forbid them to see me ever again. But I don't know anyone else.

Expect for... Sam…

He saved me once, maybe he will do it again… But maybe he won't. I mean we only meet twice, when I was a baby and today. He doesn't even know it was me. I lied to him…

Then I hear voices from my back, it's still a bit far but I can tell they are coming nearer and nearer to me. I'm running out of time, desperately I call him hoping he will pick it up and help me.

"Hello?" I can hear his voice, unsure.

"Sam? Sam! I… I'm Quinn!" I nearly cry at that time, "Sam, i.. I..need your help, please I'm so scared a bunch of gangster are coming, they're gonna rape me. Ohh, please Sam come!"I look around for the street name and tell him.

I'm hoping he will say something like don't worry, I'm coming, but instead he replies, "Is this a joke? Listen miss, whoever you are, this is not funny ok?"

Then he hangs up, and at the same time a hand covers my mouth.

"Enough of the hide and seek, missy!" He hissed, "Now let's go back to the business."

**The End**

**No, guys i'm kidding, hahaha! :) It's not the end.  
>I hope you still enjoy it, sorry if there's some wrong facts.<br>**

**As for Sam's reaction, well if someone calls you at night and asking for help you're not just gonna jump straight into your car and save them , right? Let's keep it realistic, even if this is a fanfic.**

**Oh, ya as for the OCs :Thessa is my enemy's name and you know how Taylor Swift writes songs about people who hurts her well, i write stories about them, deal with it!  
>And Quinn's imaginary friends -Channel, Martina, Savera, and Dicy- are my friends' name. (Love you, Girls!)<strong>

**Well, as usual, please give me 5 more reviews and i will post the next one. :D**

**One more thing, have a Happy New Year!  
>It's 30 minutes to 2012 in my country now, can't wait! :*<strong>

**2012 HERE WE COME!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Who I Am?**

**Chapter 6**

He holds me tightly with one hand, while the other is sneaking everywhere around my body. His mouth is on mine. And he keeps pushing me against the wall behind me. His friends are laughing, saying something about waiting for their turns. There's no one else here, who can help me is myself. So I try, I bite him, kick him, but nothing do any good. Everything I do is only making him more and more aggressive. I shut my eyes, praying it will be over.

Then he stops, no one dares to say anything. At first I don't know why, but then I hear it. Someone is coming. The guy who holds me sends the others away, to check on the sound. There's a completely silence. Then I see a silhouette, making its way to us. The street light is shining on his face, it's Sam. He's coming after all. He looks surprise to see me.

"Let her go!" He demands.

But the guy is only laughing at him, "Yeah? You and what army, Kid?"

Sam takes a step forward then punches him. The guy seems very angry, he takes a knife from his back and tries to stab Sam, but he misses, probably because he's too drunk. Sam punches him once more, then he collapse.

I must have looked so frightened because Sam suddenly puts his arm around me, "Are you alright? Let's get out of here."

We get to his car, and then he asks, "You're the girl from the park, right? Where's Quinn? Is she OK?"

Before I can say anything, he continues, "You'd better stay here, I'm gonna find her."

"Sam! Wait! You… You.. don't have to look for Quinn. She's fine, she's actually in this car…"

Sam looks at me as if I'm crazy, "You, you mean, you are Quinn? Why don't you tell me in the park? We wouldn't be in this mess if you told me!"

He sounds angry, and hurt, his eyes aren't shining anymore. I begin to think he will just drop me out the car and leave me. But he just sighs.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I really want to, but I'm scared, I'm scared you will leave me like everyone else."

He takes my hand and says, "I'm not like everyone else, I won't leave you." Then he smiles before continues, "I'm sorry I didn't trust you at first. Why are you here anyway? Your mother must be worried."

My face darkened, "I don't have mother, Sam. I don't need any either."

"Aren't you adopted?"

"I was, but my foster mother won't want me anymore. "

Then I cry, I tell him everything about Mirriam and I. Something that I thought would be kept a secret forever, and as I'm saying that, I begin to realize that I've been so mean to her, and she's only trying to give the best for me. I don't deserve her. She's better off without me.

He puts one arm around me and says, "You've been too hard to yourself. It's not like you've stolen anything or hurt anyone, right?"

He laughs, I don't. I remember the sound of the broken windows, the police, and her scream. After all this years, I'm still haunted by her. She often visits my dream, trying to get things even. No, she's not Mommy, I'm not scared of her. I'm not the reason of her death, I don't even manage to see her after she killed herself. But this girl, I remember her perfectly; her beady eyes, her fake smiles, and her big pearly teeth that was used to bite me. She's mean, but what I've done to her was outrageous. I'm not just bad, I'm a criminal. I don't belong in this world.

"Sam, stop the car!" I say suddenly.

"What? Quinn, we are in the middle of the road!"

"I don't care, just stop!" He does what I say.

The moment his car stops, I step out and begin to run to the opposite direction. It's a one way road, so there's no way he could stop me. I hear his voice calling, but I don't care anymore. I will do a favor for everyone, by vanishing from this world….. Forever…

**Have i mentioned that my sister -this account owner- makes me write this chapter? She's busy with her bf, oops.. I mean 'exam'.**  
><strong>Anyway, sorry that it's soooo short, i've tried my best! I'm new on this, hey visit my account FearlessFabrevans and pm me some idea for my first fic?<strong>  
><strong>Thank you so much, please review! My sister will be back on next chapter and she promises to reveal more Quinn's past and a surprise at the end, a fabrevans' kiss maybe? Oh, i hope, but she's just so unpredictable.<strong>

**Love you all!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello again, guys! Sorry, it's been so so long, i just couldn't finish this chapter. It's kinda sad, and you'll probably hate me after reading this. **  
><strong>Anyway, i hope you like this chapter! Enjoy :)<strong>

Chapter 7**  
><strong>

**Who I am**

I keep running, running from Sam, running from the world, though I don't know where I'm going. He thought he understands me, but he doesn't, no one does. Maybe Mirriam would understand, she's so strange. She'll be making an endless fuss when I act a bit cheeky, but she doesn't flinch when she finds out about my past history. She trusts me, even when she knows what I got up to at Sunnyside

Sunnyside was a special Children's Home, a dumping ground for hard to place kids. They were hard too, especially some of the big guys. Puck was the oldest and the toughest, everyone was frightened of him, even some of the staff. But I was fine, because he actually liked me.

I was Puck's special baby. He liked it when I acted younger than I really was. He looked after me, punching anyone that dared to come near us. He was the King at Sunnyside, and I was his little princess. It was perfect at first, it would still be if only he didn't ask me to go with him at nights.

I know Puck and his gang often sneaked out at night, but I never got involved. Puck would tuck me in my bed then went out with his friends. It happened every night, until one time he asked me to come. I couldn't say no, not after everything he's done for me. So I came with him. There are about 5 of us, Puck got us organized into a highly efficient burgling team. My job was to break in and let the others in.

Most people left their little bathroom windows open, I was so small and able to break in through those windows. I thought I was stuck forever the first time, with my head in the stranger's bathroom, my bottom and legs poking out onto blank air behind me. I bit my lips so I wouldn't make any sound, and then gave one last desperate wriggle and finally landed head first into the bathroom.

I got a lot better at burgling but I always hated it. I was so scared of getting caught, I had to find my way out of the bathroom, went down the stairs, and then open the back door for Puck and his gang in the pitch dark! They really did seem to have fun. I hated every second even when everything went like clockwork- and it often didn't! One time, I couldn't work out how to unlock the door, and Puck was getting impatient. Then I heard footsteps on the floor above my head. I panicked and started crying, Puck smashed the window and got me out of there . By the time the man reached the broken window, we were already out of his sight. I had glass on my hair and Puck was bleeding, but at least we'd escaped. This time. It was so hard knowing there were going to be a next time, and a next, and a next.

It wasn't just the fear of being caught. It was the terror of knowing I was going straight to hell for being a thief. Mommy had taught me it was wrong to steal a dropped grape in the market. But I almost killed Rachel, so it didn't really matter. I'm going to hell anyway.

She came to Sunnyside a year after I got there and became my roommate. She was supposed to be my friend now. The staff thought we would be perfect together, she's just slightly younger than me. She had dark hair, big brown eyes, and pearly teeth. Everyone taught Rachel and I were best friends, but it was the exact opposite.

She tortured me every day, acting nice in front of the staff and Puck. I couldn't tell anyone, or she would inflict more damage when we were alone together. She bit me and kicked me, but I told everyone that I had bitten myself and knocked over some things.

Bath time was the worst, there was so many of us needing baths everyday that the staff made us took bath together. I had to share the bath with Rachel. When the staff was at the room, she didn't dare to do anything, just pinching or kicking under the bubbles. But when we're alone, she would play her favorite game. Mermaid.

"What do Mermaids do, Quinnie?" She whispered, and when I didn't answer she would scream straight into my ear. "I'm talking to you! Are you deaf?"

"The... They swim," I answered.

"Hooray! She's got it! So, what are you waiting?" She screamed again, "Swim!"

She grabbed my ankles and pulled me so that my head was underwater. I tried to get up, but she pulled me back, shoving my chest. I knew she was drowning me, but if I die at least she'd be in trouble. But suddenly she had her arms under my armpits and pulled me up. I gasped and coughed, and cried.

"Shut up, stupid! Call yourself a mermaid? You're not really good at swimming, are you? Better practice again!" She shoved me straight back under water.

She didn't always have a go at drowning me, Rachel could sometimes be perfectly ordinary, just splashing and telling silly jokes. In a way that made it worse, I never quite knowing when she was going to turn. But then, I was the one that turned.

I tried to kill Rachel. No I didn't. I don't know. I don't know what's real anymore. I just remember what they all said. They thought I'd pushed her deliberately, maybe I did. Rachel flew through the air, arms waving, legs kicking. I thought she'd land on her feet and come running to get me. But she landed on her back, one of her legs bent in the wrong direction. I waited for her to start crying, but she didn't make any sound. I was frightened that Rachel was dead, but that would mean she couldn't tell on me.

But she turned up ok, with only one broken leg, and she told Mo- one of the staffs- that I pushed her. Mo dragged me off to the staffs' private sitting room. No one had ever been there, not even Puck, although he got a lot of trouble.

"Rachel had told me everything." Mo started, "You pushed her, didn't you?"

I just nodded.

"You could easily have killed her, Quinn!" said Mo, "I've been a staff here for almost a decade, I've looked after the naughtiest boys and no child has ever been hurt, not seriously- just a few black eyes and lumps but nothing like this! Rachel says you pushed her for no reason!"

I had my reasons, Rachel was the real killer, she killed my imaginary girls. I couldn't play properly anymore, not since she became my roommate. I'd tried to be careful, played with them secretly inside my head, making sure my lips didn't move. But she caught me one time, and she insisted to play with me. She's making her own girl, no, not a girl, but more like a witch. Rachel made her girl killed mine, giving them poisoned apples, or turning them into frogs. I know it was just a game but I couldn't make them up anymore, they're all dead.

But that's not my only reason. She called me some nasty names, she even dared to called Puck names. I tried to ignore her, but it's getting harder and harder. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep, but Rachel would make fun of me the next morning so I stopped. But still, it wasn't the main reason I pushed her.

She was sitting on her bed when I returned back to the house, waiting for me. There was no way I could lie to her, I have my pocket full of gold jewels. Puck thought no one would suspect me if we get caught, so i got to keep the stolen things until everything calmed down. It worked out well, the police checked his room but couldn't find anything, they didn't even bother to check my room.

But now, Rachel has caught me red-handed. She didn't even say anything, just smiling at me then went back to sleep. I was sure she would tell on us the next day. But she didn't, not the next day, or the day after. And i know why, it's not because she felt sorry for us, it's because now she has power to threaten me. I have to do whatever she told me or she might tell, not just me but also Puck and his gang.

I was haunted with fear, thinking that Rachel could tell on us any second. I wouldn't be sent to prison since i was still underage, but Puck might be. I couldn't bear to lose my only friend. Rachel was laughing at me, saying she might tell on us today. She kept going on and on how my life would be in prison. Suddenly i couldn't stand it anymore. I rushed at her, she realized that i wasn't playing around. She ran away from me, but i caught up with her along the landing. I punched her hard in the chest, and she fell backwards down the stairs.

"You pushed her on purpose, didn't you, Quinn?" Mo asked, "For no reason whatsoever?"

I simply nodded, because i did push her and it was for no reason Mo would ever understand.

I don't know how I'm ending up here, but here i am at the bridge, river rushing below me. I look down, taking a deep breath and preparing to jump. I make a silent goodbye to my friends, to Mirriam, even to Sam. But before i could jump, i hear my name's being called. Sam, he comes looking for me. I see him running toward me, at the same time a car is coming to his direction, then all i see is blood and his limp body.

**So do you hate me now? Again sorry about the delay, you see I'm going to a new school tomorrow, where i know absolutely no one. So I'm kinda depressed, and somehow i can write a long chapter. **  
><strong>Can i have your reviews now? it's longer than usual, so can you give me at least 5 more reviews? Please?<strong>


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